6 min brew
mood: raw
Voiceless Life
I grew up without a voice. Not because I could not speak but because nobody was listening for mine. Every adult around me had already decided who I was.
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page 1 of many
My Journal Entries
~ where thoughts become stories ~
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January 2024
Voiceless Life
5 min brew
mood: vulnerable
The Girl in the Mirror
Mirrors are not simple for me. They never have been. I look at mine and every version of myself I have ever been stares back.
Continue reading... 6 min brew
mood: analytical
The Comparison Trap: Social Media and Self-Worth
We were already faking it before social media existed. Social media just made the performance permanent. Now the competition lives in your pocket.
Continue reading... 4 min brew
mood: hopeful
Navigating Life's Unknowns
I have always lived not knowing what tomorrow looks like. That is not some deep metaphor. That was literally my life. The phone would ring and they would tell me it was time for another surgery.
Continue reading... 5 min brew
mood: frustrated
Medically Imbalanced
The history of medicine is a history of mislabeling things, getting it wrong, correcting the record, and then getting it wrong again in a new way. And it is not just history. It is happening right now. To me.
Continue reading... 9 min brew
mood: determined
Job Hunting With a Face People Notice
What it is actually like to job hunt when your face is the first thing people react to. Not your resume. Not your experience. Your face.
Continue reading... 6 min brew
mood: honest
Expectations: Internal and External
Everyone grows up with expectations. But what happens when no one actually expects anything from you. Or worse, when they hand you this idea that you can do anything and then reality shows up.
Continue reading... 6 min brew
mood: reflective
Childhood Without Childhood
I did not have a childhood. I had a schedule of surgeries and recoveries with some school in between. And the thing about missing your childhood is that it does not just disappear.
Continue reading... 5 min brew
mood: vulnerable
Becoming Invisible
At some point when I was young I figured out that the safest thing I could be was invisible. The less people saw of me the less they could say about me.
Continue reading... 7 min brew
mood: reflective
Accommodations: Child Me vs Adult Me
I needed accommodations as a kid. That is just a fact. But the way it played out taught me that asking for help means being seen as less than.
Continue reading... 10 min brew
mood: educational
Cleft Lip and Palate 101: What Everyone Should Know
What a cleft lip and palate actually is, from someone who has lived it for over 20 years.
Continue reading... 7 min brew
mood: analytical
The Perfectionism-Procrastination Loop
I can spend three hours perfecting the first paragraph of an email and then never send it. ADHD perfectionism is not about wanting things to be great. It is about being unable to start unless they can be perfect immediately.
Continue reading... 7 min brew
mood: vulnerable
The Rejection Sensitivity Spiral
Someone does not text back for a few hours and my brain has already written the entire story of how they hate me. That is ADHD rejection sensitivity. Now add visible differences to it.
Continue reading... 11 min brew
mood: grieving
The Weight of Last Moments: Living with Irreversible Regret
When someone dies, you do not just lose them. You lose every chance you had to do it differently. And that is the part that does not go away.
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More stories coming soon...
Like any good journal, this one keeps growing. Check back for new entries, thoughts, and the occasional cat photo.