10 min read
mood: educational
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Breaking the Silence on Cleft Lip and Palate
Let me guess—you've probably seen someone with a cleft lip or palate and wondered what it is, but felt too awkward to ask. Or maybe you've heard some wild misconceptions that made you curious about the truth. Well, you're in the right place because I'm about to break it down for you, and trust me, I know what I'm talking about.
As someone born with a cleft lip and palate, I've heard it all the questions, the assumptions, and unfortunately, the completely wrong "facts" people think they know. So let's clear the air and talk about what cleft lip and palate actually is, because honestly, the more people understand, the less awkward those grocery store encounters become.
As someone born with a cleft lip and palate, I've heard it all the questions, the assumptions, and unfortunately, the completely wrong "facts" people think they know. So let's clear the air and talk about what cleft lip and palate actually is, because honestly, the more people understand, the less awkward those grocery store encounters become.
🧩 What Exactly Is a Cleft Lip and Palate?
🧩
What Exactly Is a Cleft Lip and Palate?
Simply put, a cleft lip and palate happens when parts of the mouth and lip don't form properly during early pregnancy. Think of it like this: when a baby is developing in the womb, different parts of the face come together like puzzle pieces. Sometimes, those pieces don't connect completely, leaving a gap or "cleft."
A cleft lip affects the upper lip, and a cleft palate affects the roof of the mouth. You can have one without the other, or both together like I do. It's not something that happens because the mom did something wrong during pregnancy it's just one of those things that occurs during development, affecting about 1 in every 700 babies born.
A cleft lip affects the upper lip, and a cleft palate affects the roof of the mouth. You can have one without the other, or both together like I do. It's not something that happens because the mom did something wrong during pregnancy it's just one of those things that occurs during development, affecting about 1 in every 700 babies born.
🔍 The Real Talk About Causes
🔍
The Real Talk About Causes
Here's where I need to bust some myths because I've heard some ridiculous theories over the years. No, it's not contagious (seriously, that mom at the supermarket when I was little what was she thinking?). No, it's not caused by anything the parents did or didn't do.
Most of the time, we don't know exactly why it happens. Sometimes it's genetic, sometimes it's not. Sometimes there are environmental factors involved, but honestly, for most families, it's just random. It's like asking why some people are born with brown eyes and others with blue it just happens.
Most of the time, we don't know exactly why it happens. Sometimes it's genetic, sometimes it's not. Sometimes there are environmental factors involved, but honestly, for most families, it's just random. It's like asking why some people are born with brown eyes and others with blue it just happens.
🌟 What Life Actually Looks Like
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What Life Actually Looks Like
Growing up with a cleft means lots of doctor visits, surgeries, and yes, dealing with people's reactions. I've had multiple surgeries throughout my life to repair my lip and palate, improve function, and honestly, help me feel more comfortable in my own skin.
The challenges aren't just physical—though speech therapy, dental work, and feeding difficulties as a baby are real parts of the journey. The emotional side is huge too. Learning to navigate a world where people notice you're different, building confidence when you feel like everyone's staring, and finding your voice (literally and figuratively) takes time.
The challenges aren't just physical—though speech therapy, dental work, and feeding difficulties as a baby are real parts of the journey. The emotional side is huge too. Learning to navigate a world where people notice you're different, building confidence when you feel like everyone's staring, and finding your voice (literally and figuratively) takes time.
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What I Wish People Knew
Look, I get it—when you see something unfamiliar, you're curious. That's human nature. But here's what would make life easier for people like me:
- It's okay to notice, but don't stare. A quick glance is normal; a prolonged stare makes us feel like zoo animals.
- We're not broken. We're just different, and different doesn't mean wrong or less than.
- Don't assume we can't do things. Most of us live completely normal lives. We go to school, work jobs, fall in love, have families all the regular human stuff.
- If you're genuinely curious, especially if your child asks questions, it's better to ask respectfully than to whisper and point. Trust me, we'd rather have an honest conversation than deal with the awkward avoidance.
- It's okay to notice, but don't stare. A quick glance is normal; a prolonged stare makes us feel like zoo animals.
- We're not broken. We're just different, and different doesn't mean wrong or less than.
- Don't assume we can't do things. Most of us live completely normal lives. We go to school, work jobs, fall in love, have families all the regular human stuff.
- If you're genuinely curious, especially if your child asks questions, it's better to ask respectfully than to whisper and point. Trust me, we'd rather have an honest conversation than deal with the awkward avoidance.
""The Bottom Line
Having a cleft lip and palate is just one part of who I am it's not my whole identity. Some days it feels like a bigger deal than others, and that's okay. What matters is understanding that we're all just trying to live our lives, navigate our challenges, and find our place in the world.
The more we talk openly about differences like cleft lip and palate, the more normal it becomes. And honestly? That's all most of us want—to be seen as normal people living normal lives, just with a slightly different story about how we got here.
So next time you encounter someone with a cleft, remember: we're not that different from you. We just had a few extra plot twists in our origin story.